The Power of ‘Sorry’ – The Apology That Came 40 Years Later

By: Sheridan Voysey

She Broke My Heart at 13

The year is 1985. Don Johnson is wearing apricot jackets, Beverley Hills Cop is out on VHS cassette, Madonna’s Crazy for You is playing on AM radios everywhere, and 13-year-old Sheridan has his first girlfriend.

Her name is Donna.* Brown hair, pretty smile, Donna and I sit together at lunchbreak, hold hands when the teachers aren’t looking, and go roller skating on weekends. Our sweet, innocent romance rolls along blissfully for months—until she drops me for my friend Richard.

I am heartbroken. While once upon a time I was falling in love, now I was only falling apart (thank you Bonnie Tyler). Maya Angelou was right when she said the loss of young first love is so painful it borders on the ludicrous. I was ludicrously crestfallen for six whole months.

Then This Message Arrives

Forty years later, that heartbreak is more a memory of youthful naivete than anything else. But then two weeks ago, a message drops into my inbox—from Donna. “I have never forgotten the way I cut off our relationship,” she says. “I may have only been 13 years old, but I knew what I did was wrong and hurtful. I still carry so much shame for doing that to you, and I sincerely apologise for my behaviour. I write this hoping you might hear, and hopefully accept, my apology.” Donna’s words moved Merryn and me deeply.

“I may have only been 13 years old, but I knew what I did was wrong and hurtful.”

The Power of Apology

In the Christian calendar, there is no more important week than Easter week. On Easter Wednesday, we remember Judas’ decision to betray Jesus; on Thursday, we remember Jesus’ arrest; Friday, his nail-pierced hands; Sunday, his empty tomb. During Easter week heartbreak meets miracle, and a promise is made that reconciliation with God and each other is possible. And the key that opens all these treasures, we’re told, is apology. Whether between heaven and us, or me and you, reconciliation requires a heartfelt “I’m sorry”.

That’s what Donna offered me in her brave, vulnerable message, and only one response seemed appropriate. After pulling myself together, I wrote back: “Donna, please know that you are wholly and completely forgiven. May any shame you now feel melt away.”

“You are wholly and completely forgiven.”

There’s more to this story, one that’s Donna’s to tell. But in the days that followed, we both discovered the power of an apology to release us from the past. Whether it’s between us and heaven, or me and you, after a heartfelt “I’m sorry” comes not just reconciliation, but freedom.

(*Names changed)