Wendy Hunsaker continues her very helpful clues, tips and pointers to get conversation happening at your next get together.

Just to re-cap . . .
Remember the Beach Boys 1966 hit from way back, Good Vibrations? Here those slightly altered lyrics . . .

I’m picking up good vibrations
This party’s got excitations
I’m picking up good vibrations
Good, good, good conversation
(Oom bop bop excitations)
Good, good, good good CONVERSATION . . .

The wonderful party vibe of chat and music – such great sounds when people are enjoying themselves. But how do you ensure it happens, especially at dinner parties which aren’t always so easy to keep humming?

Chatting at a dinner party
At dinner parties the conversation sometimes slows down. To guarantee it doesn’t, write open-ended questions on cards and put them in a bowl, or even tape them to the underside of dinner plates or chairs. These questions also help share the spotlight if someone is dominating.
Here are a few to get you started:
• Which historical event would you love to have been at?
• Travel back to 1000BC or forward to 3000AD: which would you choose and where would you go?
• Who would be either your most or least favourite dinner companion and why?

Reflecting on one of history’s most expert conversationalists, Jesus Christ remains the perfect example of meaningful conversation over a meal. In fact, the Bible records far more about Jesus’ teaching while dining than in the synagogue or temple. Often his words while sharing a meal changed a life forever. There are some great resources for meaningful conversations available at Post Offices and games shops. 

Examples of spiritual questions include:
• Why do you think people are interested in supernatural experiences?
• Do you believe all religions are the same?
• If God came down to earth, what do you think he would say to you?
• Do you believe there is someplace better than earth?

Maintaining good conversation
Good conversation is more than launching into an interesting topic. In fact, there is a secret ingredient: focused attention. Focused attention is the glue holding good conversations together. There is no higher compliment than giving your undivided attention. Again, Jesus is the perfect example. As celebrated during Easter, even when he was about to die for the entire world’s sins during his final dinner table moment – the Last Supper – Jesus focused not on his burden but rather on his disciples’.

Unlike Jesus, we can be distracted, giving careless attention to others. Unfortunately, this lesson became very clear to me several years ago.

Before we moved from London, I made plans to have a final lunch with my friend Catherine. We selected a snazzy new restaurant that we were both eager to try. Just after we were seated, Catherine became concerned that pieces of her new antique dining setting were missing. This escalated into two phone calls to her husband and an immovable topic of conversation. I can’t even remember what the restaurant looked like or what I tasted. I only remember that an opportunity to celebrate a friendship before my move to another country was lost, even though the furniture pieces were found a few hours later.

Catherine’s focus centred on her furniture crisis, which was interesting to one person present but not two. To avoid conversation straying into unwanted territory, ask yourself, “Is this person part of the problem or the solution?” If the answer is ‘neither’, then consider changing the subject. Find one that will allow you to focus on your guest and enjoy yourself. This will keep good, good, good vibrations in your conversations!

Check out the first half of this article

Wendy Hunsaker is the author of SENSEational Parties.
© Wendy Hunsaker 2012