This year I will NOT eat chocolate!

Stephen Baxter reflects on why New Year’s resolutions are so often made . . . and subsequently broken.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions anymore. I, like many thousands of others, have found that I only break them within four or five days. In fact, studies show that 88% - 92% of all New Year’s resolutions fail. So what is the point of even starting?

Why do they fail so easily? There are many reasons, but one I have heard is that resolutions are more often than not desperate attempts to change using a form of self punishment. We subconsciously punish ourselves for those things that we haven’t yet achieved or those things we wish we could do better. 

Our hope is that the resolution will somehow bring about a change in behaviour that will ultimately help us to begin to feel better about ourselves.  But like all punishments, resolutions come from a negative base and end up making us feel guilty when we break them.

While life without resolutions may be freeing it doesn’t mean I’ve thrown out goal setting altogether. In fact, goal setting can be quite different to resolutions. In many ways goal setting is foundational to a successful life, no matter how one might define success. That might sound a bit glib given what I’ve just said about resolutions, but overcoming hardship to reach a desired end is what goal setting is all about.

The difference between a goal and a resolution is that resolutions are focused on what you don’t want rather than on what you do want. A resolution such as, “don’t eat chocolate,” can be made into a goal like “eat more healthily”. The difference between the two can be quite profound. I believe Vincent van Gogh was hinting at the same idea when he said, “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” In other words, replace the negative with a positive.

The other difference between a resolution and a goal is the fallout when it is not achieved. Often once you break your resolution that’s the end of it, you’ve failed. But if you miss your goal, the goal still remains. It is still an aspiration and you can remain positive by reviewing your progress and learning the lessons, celebrating your positive intention and effort, and continuing to move toward your goal.

In the end whether you make goals or resolutions, New Year is a good time for thoughtful reflection, a time to re-evaluate and consider what we would like to change and things we might like to do. New Year’s resolutions are often focussed on superficial issues just so we can feel better about ourselves. But we can also reflect on how we might be a better person.

I’m not making any resolutions again this year, but I will be reflecting on the past year, and setting goals for the new. How about you?

Stephen Baxter is the senior pastor at Hobart Baptist church. Check out his weekly blog heaven2earth